SMALL EGOS DON’T CHANGE THE WORLD
Anyone who has ever done anything of major consequence has or had, a big ego. Oprah Winfrey has a big ego. Steve Jobs had a massive ego. Brene Brown has a big ego. Every president that ever took office, had a big ego. Small egos don’t change the world.
Now, you might be thinking about all the bad egos that have done terrible things in this world. So, what is it inside someone that leads their ego development towards function or dysfunction? For the most part, I believe it’s their connection to their higher selves, which is necessary for guiding them in the right direction. Otherwise, the power will be taken advantage of.
THE EGO’S ROLE
The ego is a necessary component of who we are, which we must learn to love and work with, in order to thrive. This means understanding the benefits and drawbacks of our ego nature.
The ego is a mental construct inside our mind that forms our identity and sense of self. The ego is essential for us to navigate this human experience. Without the ego there would be no separation between each one of us. The ego gives us the privilege and the burden of being uniquely different. In most situations, we identify ourselves by saying, “I am…” I am a doctor, I am a father, I am smart, etc. This is why the ego is Latin for “I.” Furthermore, the ego is a complex set of ideas that started developing the day we were born. The progressive growth of ideas, from childhood to adulthood, formed the basis of our ego, which is how we came to identify ourselves as individuals. However, at the time of our birth our ego construct didn’t exist yet. Because of this, infants perceive the world, and who they are, as the same thing—there is no separation, no individualization.
When we experience change, we also experience growth. During this process, our ego inevitably grows as well. If we try to change without the ego, by denying the ego as part of the team, it will resist and prevent change. This is the basis of self-sabotage. The ego wants and needs a sense of control, so not including the ego, will result in defiance and rebellion. If your ego is going one way and your higher self is going another, you will feel stuck, and you will not change.
THE HIGHER-SELF
There is a higher form of consciousness than the ego. We shall call this our higher self. The higher self goes beyond the ego—transcending and including the ego. The expansive nature of the higher self includes space for the ego to be included, and to belong. When this happens, the ego realizes that it’s part of something bigger, and thus feels more connected.
With the consciousness of the higher self, we have the capacity to regulate and guide the ego. The ego, which is part of who we are, is not perfect. The ego makes mistakes and needs help along the way. Our higher self must take responsibility and care for the ego. We must step up and provide compassion, empathy, and forgiveness, to our ego. It is crucial to embrace the ego as self, and to love it fully. When the ego feels embraced and loved, it knows that there is even more room to grow and expand. In this sense, the ego feels permission to progress and moves forward, which leads to a bigger ego. With love and guidance, the ego can develop in a healthy and functional way.
HAVING A BIG EGO
There is nothing right or wrong with having a big ego. Remember, the ego is a mental construct of individualization that separates each one of us. The bigger the ego, the more a person is seen and acknowledged as uniquely different. If you think back on history, some of the biggest influencers of positive change also had some of the biggest egos. Without a big ego Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and many others, wouldn’t have been recognized or respected. Their ego made them stand out and be seen, so they could have more influence and impact. They worked with their ego to build themselves up, which allowed them the power to make the world a better place. Of course, these characters also tapped into and followed their higher selves.
Ego growth without the guidance of the higher self is a set-up for a disaster.
As mentioned before, our higher self is responsible for guiding and supporting the ego’s growth. Without proper guidance, the ego can grow in a dysfunctional way. Growth in the wrong direction is like a cancer that spreads or develops into a tumor. This is what most people think of when they think of a big ego. Extreme dysfunctional growth of an ego results in a person like Adolf Hitler. The ego’s growth creates power, which can be used in terrible ways, such as, manipulation, coercion, violence, and destruction.
When we understand how the ego functions, we can work with it, and allow it to grow in a healthy way. We can invite it in as part of who we are, and love and embrace it. By doing so, we can integrate the ego, and all its parts, into ourselves. Without the ego we are not whole individuals and cannot take part in this human experience. How can we ever relate to or have compassion for another person, without our ego experience? Instead of fighting or treating the ego as the enemy, maybe we should accept it for all that it has to offer.
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