WHY BEING CONFUSED IS A GOOD THING
Confusion is not a bad thing. Confusion is an integral part of the learning process. If you want to grow and expand in any area of your life, you have to learn. The willingness to be confused is a sign of intelligence. Confusion eventually leads to understanding. Understanding and learning is a process that is earned. What brought you to where you are now is your capacity to learn.
Life is all about learning. Having a negative association with confusion leads to a negative association with learning. Running away from confusion is running away from learning. Denying confusion is being closed-minded and resistant to growth and change. You hold yourself back by denying confusion. Being confused can be scary and that fear can be paralyzing. But it doesn’t have to be. When it comes to confusion, your perspective makes all the difference. You can change your mindset. There is great power in reframing your outlook on confusion.
THE LEARNING PROCESS
All learning starts with curiosity and exploration. During the process of learning there are always roadblocks and challenges, which is what creates confusion. Confusion comes with doubt and uncertainty. In order to breakthrough the confusion you need focus and perseverance. The reward for learning is new understanding and a higher level of consciousness. The equation for learning is outlined below:
Curiosity - Exploration - Confusion - Breakthrough = Higher Consciousness & Understanding
Confusion is an indication that you are on the verge of entering into a new state of consciousness. Confusion encourages you to move to higher levels. As difficult as it may be, you have to trust confusion, no matter how uncomfortable. It’s important to know that when you are confused you are in the learning process.
Having the mental emotional fortitude is necessary in order to breakthrough confusion. The more you embrace confusion and walk through it, the more resilient you become in the face of uncertainty, doubt, and fear.
EMOTIONAL CONFUSION
The brain doesn’t want to be confused. It tries to make sense of everything. One of the most confusing things for your brain is emotional challenges. The brain wants to analyze, understand, and define emotions, but emotions are not logical. This can easily create confusion, which if dwelled upon, can create frustration. The more the head tries to solve the so-called emotional problems the more it back-fires. The head is trying to sort out issues that it is not responsible for. Allowing your emotions to be felt and experienced is the body’s and heart’s responsibility. The brain has to work with the body and heart. Without everyone playing together, the team will fail.
You feel emotions throughout your body, especially in the heart. In order to be okay with confusion, you must stay centered in your heart. You have to feel the confusion, and accept it. Your heart knows that confusion is not a bad thing, but rather is an innate sensation that you are learning and are about to have a breakthrough. Reassure your brain to trust your heart.
GOING DEEPER
I am confused how part of me wants to change, and yet, another part of me does not?
I am confused about why I keep self-sabotaging myself?
On a deeper level, this is about your ego parts working together. Simply put, if the inner-child part of you is still wounded or unseen, he/she will not want to work with the inner-adult who is trying to move forward. Your ego parts are not on the same page. As long as there is conflict inside of you, with one or more of your parts, you will hold yourself back. The root of the problem is disintegration with your parts. Most of the time, this is unconscious. The relationship inside of you, with all of your parts, is of the utmost importance for living a healthy mental and emotional life.
IT’S OKAY
To make this process easier, it helps to reassure yourself by saying, “It’s okay.” There is great relief in knowing that it’s okay. No matter what you are going through, it’s okay. If you’re feeling angry, it’s okay. If you’re struggling and experiencing depression, it’s okay. If you made a mistake, it’s okay. If you’re super f#%king confused about what to do, it’s okay. If you’re discouraged at your current circumstances, it’s okay.
Stop for a minute, and acknowledge that where you currently are is exactly where you are supposed to be.
You are not supposed to be at anyone else’s level but your own. You are going at your own pace, which is perfect for you. When you carry the belief that you should be more successful, or have more money, or have more fame, you are degrading your self-worth. Constantly being disappointed in this moment, and wanting to be in the future with the perception of more, is not productive. Accepting and loving your current reality creates inner peace, which is necessary for making continuous change. You don’t have to escape or rush this moment, you can simply let yourself be in it. If you are confused let yourself be confused. Every moment can be a blessing that you live inside, if you allow it to be.
GOING BEYOND YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Stretching yourself beyond your comfort zone will inevitably create confusion, because you are entering into a space you have never been before. When you decide to change you will face confusion, which will be uncomfortable. You have to transcend the urge to want to retreat from the confusion and discomfort that comes with change. You have to allow yourself to feel the confusion and fear that will be present. Stepping into the unknown requires courage and faith.
Your change process is like a rubber band. The circumference of your rubber band represents your comfort zone. The process of change requires you to stretch your rubber band into a bigger circle. The stretch zone is healthy and productive. Consistently stretching yourself to the next level will eventually lead to a bigger comfort zone. This is the process of evolution. However, if you proceed to stretch yourself too far, and put too much pressure on the system, you enter into the freak-out zone and are likely to snap.
The point is not to get so confused and uncomfortable that you cannot handle it. Moving too quickly creates excessive stress, which drives the ego into a heightened and defensive state. The system becomes threatened and reactive. The defensive ego reacts to life by behaving in one of four ways: fight, flight, freeze, or facade. Entering into the freak-out zone creates emotional volatility. When this happens you are far more likely to participate in bad habits, destructive behaviors, and self-sabotage. Pushing yourself far beyond your capacity can easily become a detriment to productive action.
You have to take one step at a time. You cannot go from 1st grade to 4th grade. You cannot sprint when you are still working on walking. Much of the temptation to move too quickly comes from comparing yourselves to others around you. You may want to advance to chapter 15, because you see someone else there, but you have to work up to that point, one page at a time. The goal is to be authentic, and move at your own pace. So, what is the next step that you can take that will stretch you, not break you?
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