THE ILLUSION OF MISTAKES

What if I told you, it’s impossible to make a mistake? You would probably react and say, “No, you’re wrong. Trust me, I have made plenty of mistakes.” Well, what if some of those mistakes weren’t mistakes, but rather unrealistic judgments that you made about your actions? And maybe, deep down, you know that there are no mistakes, only stories about what is right and wrong.

How much of our lives are we holding back from because of our constant fear of making a mistake? Or feeling guilty and ashamed for taking certain actions that we believe are mistakes?

What would happen if I perceived this blog to be an entire mistake? I certainly wouldn’t share it now, would I? So, how do we change our perspective on mistakes, and open ourselves up to the natural unfolding that is beyond our ego’s rigid stories and judgments? I would say that I don’t completely know. But I am willing to question my thought patterns, feel my feelings, and try a new way of navigating life.

WHO DECIDED IT WAS A MISTAKE?

When we were children, we made many mistakes, but usually we didn’t perceive them as such—the way we played or talked or learned was not right or wrong. However, at some point along the way, we received the message (usually from a parent, teacher, or religious figure) about which actions were good or bad, okay or not okay, acceptable or unacceptable, which communicated and charged a certain level of wrongness. Until we picked up those thought patterns and judgments, and added them to our ego constructs, we had no logical understanding of what a mistake was. So, who in your life taught you about right and wrong (their ethical map), and reinforced certain judgments that validated current perceived mistakes?

In every case, there is an emotional energy attached to the judgment of right and wrong. To the degree that we still hold these judgments and break them through our actions (making a mistake), we will experience the negative emotions associated with them. The most common emotions that arise, due to self-criticism, are guilt, shame, and fear. Every time you go against your own belief that something is bad for you—a mistake or a sin—the more often you will shame yourself when you do it. Do you unconsciously judge yourself whenever you make mistakes, and thus, shame yourself and feel small?

ACCORDING TO THE MIND

The mind is the realm of the ego. The mind is clever, tricky, and highly convincing. In any situation, it can judge, criticize, and rationalize any mistake or success in our life. However, much of what occurs in the mind is programmed information that has been developed from childhood through adulthood. Much of that programming centers around right or wrong, good or bad, and basically all other polar opposites in life. We only think that we made a mistake based on our mental programming and references, both of which provide evidence and reasoning. Because of this, the mind can justify anything as a mistake, or as the right choice. We read one book on the Paleo diet, and all of the sudden, meats and vegetables are right, and dairy, gluten, and peanuts are wrong. Or maybe, our mind received and believed the thought that being rich was wrong, greedy, and selfish, and being poor was righteous and the sure way into heaven. Either way, our mind creates stories and definitive thoughts, which then tell us that we f#*k-up, and then blames us for how terrible we are. And as a result, we are filled with unwanted guilt and shame. “Hello mind, you’re officially not helpful.”

ACCORDING TO THE HEART

On the other hand, the heart isn’t concerned with all the logical information that the mind is addicted to. The heart is only concerned with all the limitless possibilities of the current moment. The heart goes beyond any story that was created, or any belief that became installed into the mind as truth. According to the heart there is no right or wrong—no mistakes. When it comes to the heart, “You can’t do it right and you can’t do wrong—you can only do. More importantly, you can only be.” The heart cares more about who you are, and participating in the process of life, then it does about your perceived actions that could be seen and judged as mistakes. The heart cares about showing up and staying present. The heart sees mistakes as an integral part of the life experience. Of course, there will be painful consequences, which are necessary for learning, along the way. The key is to learn and grow from them, with the compassion and empathy of the heart.

Simply put, the heart cares about Joy and Fulfillment. Joy is the balanced, peaceful, euphoric feeling of being in this moment (enJOYment). And fulfillment is the natural and progressive expansion, or unfoldment, of your purpose/being (being ON purpose).

LEARNING FROM MISTAKES

A hundred mistakes. A thousand apologies. But does that make it any better? Or does it just cover up the problem, Like a band-aid That can’t hold the blood?

Am I right back to where I began? Or have I made any progress? Maybe I am missing the point, The point of making mistakes. Maybe I am caught inside of my own riddle, Bound to continue this madness.

When I step back from my walls, I see the deception and the deceit. But I know one thing for sure, Mistakes are secret gifts that are given From the depths of my subconscious— Gifts that are wrapped up in challenge.

There is only the illusion of wrong, Only the illusion of shame. Every mistake is created by me As a chance to become something more. If I keep making the same one Then have I rejected the gift of learning?

Hope you enjoyed this post. Leave a comment below and let me know what you think!