**SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS BULL SH*T**

If you’re constantly trying to improve yourself, does that mean that there is something wrong with you? Are you using self-improvement to try and fix your belief of unworthiness? Is the potential for a better self, or a better version of you, an illusion that you are chasing?

It seems that the harder I try to fulfill the gap between who I am and who I think I should be, the more I lose the essence of my being. It’s a tireless game of always seeking to change and become better. How many more goals do I need to achieve in order to feel worthy of love?

IMPERFECT IS NOT THE SAME AS BROKEN

We are all human beings—whole and complete, but certainly not perfect. We all have positive and negative traits. We all make mistakes. We all have egos that are needy. We all self-sabotage from time to time. But none of these things mean that we are broken. We are not flawed, damaged, cracked, or born sinful. Original Sin doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with us from the start, it means separation. It is the first experience of separation from Infinite Source, or Unconditional Love. Being born is the introduction into this conditional world—your blessing into this human experience is that it’s full of both pain and pleasure. And deep within us is the essence of who we are, which is whole and worthy. Just because we are having this human experience that involves both good and bad, negative and positive, doesn’t mean that we’re broken. Being human involves having an ego, which attaches onto the illusion that it has to strive to prove its worth. But being unworthy or broken is only a story that we have fabricated. Unfortunately, it’s a damn convincing one at that—one that I trick myself into believing way too often.

SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS MAKING YOU FEEL WORSE

It’s a faulty foundation that looks appealing and promises positive change. But it’s a destructive cycle that makes you seek more and more in the hopes that someday you’ll become someone other/more than yourself. The foundation is built off the belief that who you are is broken and inherently flawed. If you read this book, take this course, listen to this video—whatever it is—then you will improve your brokenness. At the root of self-improvement lies the belief that who you are is unworthy, and this or that improvement method will make you feel worthy. This mindset leads you to believe that if you positively change your life, and be more like these people, then you can be happy. There always seems to be some type of condition that has to be met before you can be happy, fulfilled, and complete.

We spend so much energy trying to live up to someone else’s standards and expectations, but the constant striving is all-consuming because it’s not who we are. As long as our worthiness is tied to needing to “become” something or someone more, we will always be obligated to do and have more, and we will never be enough.

Does self-improvement draw people in by first convincing them that there is something wrong with them? “I believe I am in lack, and therefore, I need whatever you’re selling to complete me.” We fall for this trick again and again because we are so busy looking outside of ourselves—comparing and competing—that we forget what is on the inside.

What is the intention behind your searching? When you look back at all the trying, struggle, and strain, you should be asking, is it even working?

WHY IS HAPPINESS THE GOAL?

Is the happiness we seek just a one-sided illusion of pleasure without pain, happiness without sadness—a lopsided dream that negates the reality of this dualistic world? Why is unrealistic permanent happiness the goal? What would happen if we started to focus on Joy—the allowance and gratitude of both sides with a sense of peace, in each moment?

Maybe, we’re all creating fantasies about what we think we want, with the belief that eventually we will feel happy and complete. What is the fantasy or false idol (object of desire) that you have created in your mind?

SELF-DISCOVERY

Our ego creates blinders that deceive and distort, especially when it’s needy for attention and love. But we were never taught anything about our ego’s needs, or about the value of looking deep within ourselves.

Real movement happens when we learn and discover more of who we are. Every time we explore the depths and layers of who we are, we get closer to embracing our true magnificence and wholeness. There is no need to change or improve the essence of who we are. The most important work is about discovering our parts—good and bad—and integrating them.

This doesn’t mean the we cannot work towards further success and achievement in life. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your current life circumstances and having deep desires. The pursuit for growth, learning, and fulfillment is admirable and inspiring. The difference here is about the foundation (who we believe we are) that we are working from. Are you working from a place of unworthiness, needing to self-improve? Or, are you working from a place of worthiness and wholeness, wanting to self-discover?

Hope you enjoyed this post. Leave a comment below and let me know what you think!